it never really occur to me that unforgiveness had such tremendous negative effects/impacts on an individual. no doubt, i knew the importance of forgiveness because only when i forgive, then i can be deemed worthy to be forgiven, but really never knew that it was bad to stay bitter and unforgiving.
first and foremost, pastor spoke of unforgiveness as wickedness. secondly, it provokes god's anger towards us. why? because, god's gracious to forgive all and by having unforgiveness, are we trying to insinuate that we are higher/more superior than Him because he can and we cant? and lastly, which i think it is so true, is that unforgiveness leads to torture. reason being, unforgiveness breeds and it grows at an exponential rate. worse still, it grows without we knowing and it creeps on you unexpectedly. and when it does, emotional, mental torture/torment, sleepless nights are just "minor" but more serious ones like fiery outbursts etc can prove deadly.
therefore, there're 5 ways that's progressive to disperse unforgiveness and to learn to forgive.
1. Don't curse it! - so often, we take matters into our own hands, getting angry and retaliating, becoming vengeful. the problem is that unforgiveness breeds. you may say," i'm not as bad.." but do you curse that person? do you get bitter and agitated even at the mention of the person? do you have evil thoughts and try to devise ways to get back at him/her? one powerful truth is that "Vengence is God's". if we fight for ourselves, god cant fight for you!
2. Don't rehearse it! - so common i would say! we gather in our groups of pity-parties or sympathy groups and sulk and talk and yak about it. it GETS to you! the more we talk about it, it WILL get the better of you coz it reminds you of the negative things and it will seriously get the better of you. don't keep saying and remind yourself about it! resentment is staying in the past, something real small becomes big and gets out of hand and you become paralyzed thus unable to move on. why? unforgiveness is addictive! like beer, smoking! we can be be addicted and the end result? we suffer, coz we get tormented by all these bad memories.
3. Don't nurse it! - don't keep feeding it as per stated earlier! anger is legit response but staying in it will allow torment/torture to enter us! if we don't know how to deal with it, literally, it gets blown out of proportion.
4. Disperse it! - maybe isit time for us to not hold on to someone else's bad deeds anymore? why allow his/her bad-doings become ours? no doubt we may question how does this occur, it becomes our problem when we don't deal with it and disperse the unforgiveness/anger properly.
5. Let nature takes it cause, allowing god to reverse it.
-earlier, we said," Vengence is god's". i believe that most of us, christians or non-christians alike, believe in the parable of sowing and reaping or "karma". For whatever a man sows, he will surely reap. allow "karma" to come at the right timing rather then taking matters into your own hands. don't make yourself more superior to god. be angry and don't let it get the better of you. Learn to properly disperse the anger, learn to let go, learn to forgive.
so often, it is really easier said than done right? yes it is! it definitely isn't easy to forgive especially when we see injustice done to us. and yet, at the end of the day, the ones that really suffer is, a hard truth, ourselves. we get sleepless nights, get emotionally distress, depressed, disappointed, angry and more angry, uncontrollable/imbalanced emotion reactions. All these will manifest outwardly and sooner or later, not just affect our own lifes but the people around us. experts have said that if mental patients know how to forgive others and forgive themselves, 75% of them could walk out of mental hospitals totally normal.
A very sad part is the ones that are most affected is really not ourselves, but our loved ones-family. when i went into the depths of my disappointment, i thought the world was going to end and i went into "zombie-mode". life was just day-in and day-out, work, eat, sleep. my work was affected badly, my life was like a zombie, nights were torture. Drinking was like my second name to be honest because there was where i was not alone. i wasn't shortsighted, i was blinded by unforgiveness, bitterness and resentment. worse, i got vengeful and wanted to get back. unknowingly, i made my mum very sad and worried. i could tell only when i spoke to her and there's where i knew i was unfilial to be of such an age and making her sad. there's where i truly realize that i wasn't hurting alone, i had allowed my unforgiveness to hurt someone close.
ultimately, we our ownselves gotta be the ones to make the decision to either hold on or let it go. im thankful i had supportive people rallying, guiding and helping me on the way. additionally, i had a powerful parakletos that showed me how to get out of my circumstance. one "sure-work" method i used was to pray and bless those whom i had unforgiveness against. there's probably the hardest but the best way. I'm thankful at the same time because i saw how friends of mine get stucked due to unforgiveness and never really able to get out of their slumber. it doesn't take courage and strength to forgive but it really takes everything you've got.
Every disappointment can be a new appointment. Every tombstone can be a new stepping stone.
Monday, April 19, 2010
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Reality and Mammon
With so much pressure from the society arising from money and status, I can't help but think "is money the means to an end" ?
After graduating, and coming to the work force, I do enjoy higher income. Pocket money vs the real income earned. Like many others, I climb the corporate ladder and slowly but surely, income grows. I am able to afford many things I could not when I was in school. Fashionable wear, lastest gadgets, fancy restaurants. Ideally, this should translate to greater happiness.
However, I find that the opposite is true. In fact, I find that my life during my JC and most of the schooling period the most happy. Those times I am broke, but money was nothing compared to skipping lectures for soccer, or checking out cute gals with buddies.
Now that I have more money, but at the same time, lifestyle is so much compromised. I see people talking whole day about money making, nasty and un cooperative colleagues, unethical business practices, backstabbers...etc...
I hardly can find someone in the office that sincerely chat about football, or travelling, or anything else for that matter. Everyone seems so preoocupied with jobs that they dun enjoy doing, just so that they either make a living, or obtain the experience so that they continue climbing the ladder.
My question is:"With all this pursuit, are we neglecting things that we really love, and like?"
quoted fr loveforgadgets
I was reading something on the forum that really intrigues me. the generic question to sum up the article is," will we find true love or true friendships?"
its interesting how we live in this world today especially where in reality, people say Money Talks. how true is this statement? Although it has never occurred to me, i seen so often that people talk about their friends, even themselves being dumped by their partners of years coz of finances, or even careers. you can easily find such stories on forums. has humanity degraded or what most say, we have EVOLVED? simple pleasures of life no longer seem so simple. basic needs such as food are no longer so basic yeah? and gifts are being scrutinized and people are so picky about what they want. everything is designer, luxury, "i want the best, i wan fine-dining" blah blah blah.
did it once occur to you that you actually dine at hawker centres, foodcourts, used that red-leaf pen, drank ocean mineral water before? the "elitism" has gotten so far imbued to our back of our heads and we stoop to a point of evolution that Money Talks. and we literally worship the very tool itself. it seemed so sad that people part coz of money, people pick friends/partners depending on his spending powess/wealth/status. we even resort to low-tactics to enhance and promote ourselves and yet, at the end of the day, is it really worth it? will these millions of dollars, make the inner-us prosper?
to surmise, i read this quote and i simply love it, no offense to anyone :)
“The women who take husbands not out of love but out of greed, to get their bills paid, to get a fine house and clothes and jewels; the women who marry to get out of a tiresome job, or to get away from disagreeable relatives, or to avoid being called an old maid -- these are whores in everything but name. The only difference between them and my girls is that my girls gave a man his money's worth.” - Polly Adler
After graduating, and coming to the work force, I do enjoy higher income. Pocket money vs the real income earned. Like many others, I climb the corporate ladder and slowly but surely, income grows. I am able to afford many things I could not when I was in school. Fashionable wear, lastest gadgets, fancy restaurants. Ideally, this should translate to greater happiness.
However, I find that the opposite is true. In fact, I find that my life during my JC and most of the schooling period the most happy. Those times I am broke, but money was nothing compared to skipping lectures for soccer, or checking out cute gals with buddies.
Now that I have more money, but at the same time, lifestyle is so much compromised. I see people talking whole day about money making, nasty and un cooperative colleagues, unethical business practices, backstabbers...etc...
I hardly can find someone in the office that sincerely chat about football, or travelling, or anything else for that matter. Everyone seems so preoocupied with jobs that they dun enjoy doing, just so that they either make a living, or obtain the experience so that they continue climbing the ladder.
My question is:"With all this pursuit, are we neglecting things that we really love, and like?"
quoted fr loveforgadgets
I was reading something on the forum that really intrigues me. the generic question to sum up the article is," will we find true love or true friendships?"
its interesting how we live in this world today especially where in reality, people say Money Talks. how true is this statement? Although it has never occurred to me, i seen so often that people talk about their friends, even themselves being dumped by their partners of years coz of finances, or even careers. you can easily find such stories on forums. has humanity degraded or what most say, we have EVOLVED? simple pleasures of life no longer seem so simple. basic needs such as food are no longer so basic yeah? and gifts are being scrutinized and people are so picky about what they want. everything is designer, luxury, "i want the best, i wan fine-dining" blah blah blah.
did it once occur to you that you actually dine at hawker centres, foodcourts, used that red-leaf pen, drank ocean mineral water before? the "elitism" has gotten so far imbued to our back of our heads and we stoop to a point of evolution that Money Talks. and we literally worship the very tool itself. it seemed so sad that people part coz of money, people pick friends/partners depending on his spending powess/wealth/status. we even resort to low-tactics to enhance and promote ourselves and yet, at the end of the day, is it really worth it? will these millions of dollars, make the inner-us prosper?
to surmise, i read this quote and i simply love it, no offense to anyone :)
“The women who take husbands not out of love but out of greed, to get their bills paid, to get a fine house and clothes and jewels; the women who marry to get out of a tiresome job, or to get away from disagreeable relatives, or to avoid being called an old maid -- these are whores in everything but name. The only difference between them and my girls is that my girls gave a man his money's worth.” - Polly Adler
Monday, March 15, 2010
Contentment
Someone asked me,” Don’t you feel that as a Christian, you cant gamble, smoke, fool around, drink etc, life’s still so limited or boring?”
Although I had an answer in mind, this question set me thinking for a bit. Not because I doubted my faith or myself, neither but rather, an important word came into my mind the next day. And it was Contentment. What is Contentment?
Many define satisfaction, joy, happiness and success with having as much pleasures in life where possible and not forgetting accumulating wealth as one integral part of it. Truly, at the end of the day, will your heart, soul, mind have that joy you yearned for if all these are bestowed on your life? No doubt that, money is needed and having more is good but to my realization, having more only helps reduces a person’s number of worries. One of my revelations of Adam smith’s “Unlimited Wants vs. Scarce Resource” was the motivating reason behind this theory is human’s insatiable nature.
My answer to the question earlier is, even without all these things in my life, I can still have a happy and enjoyable life. The difference in whether one has to achieve the so called level of happiness is defined in his/her level of contentment he/she has set. Oh yes, it is always easy to rebuff this ideology that one has low level of or no goals/dreams/contentment because I have not much of what I want in life. How true is that? I’ve seen great men and women making big in life and you see them, you imagine, are these people what they seem to be? I admire Ms Elim Chew, founder of 77th street, a great philanthropist with a humble nature, so willing to help and give to the next generation. Most may think: ah she’s rich, she got it all, of course she can do whatever she want, so far and so forth but how many knows about her and her humble beginnings?
When the word Contentment fell into my head, I came to realize that I take much joy with what I have, what I do, where I am, what have went through. It is not because I have low expectations or nothing much to look forward in life but rather, how I know to count my blessings in my own life. I know that amidst my problems and imperfections, I learnt to champion my situations. People may never know what you and I have gone through but at the end of the day, I can be contented with what I have; simply because I appreciate what the world deems it “simple pleasures” of life.
“Success is, waking up and cannot wait to fly out of the door every morning. Success is, making people feel. Success is, working with the people you love and connecting with the world. And Success is finding a way to bind people with no connections with a dream. Success is, joy, freedom, friendship. Lastly, Success is really Love”- you can give without loving but you can never love without giving.
Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers.
3 JOHN 2
Although I had an answer in mind, this question set me thinking for a bit. Not because I doubted my faith or myself, neither but rather, an important word came into my mind the next day. And it was Contentment. What is Contentment?
Many define satisfaction, joy, happiness and success with having as much pleasures in life where possible and not forgetting accumulating wealth as one integral part of it. Truly, at the end of the day, will your heart, soul, mind have that joy you yearned for if all these are bestowed on your life? No doubt that, money is needed and having more is good but to my realization, having more only helps reduces a person’s number of worries. One of my revelations of Adam smith’s “Unlimited Wants vs. Scarce Resource” was the motivating reason behind this theory is human’s insatiable nature.
My answer to the question earlier is, even without all these things in my life, I can still have a happy and enjoyable life. The difference in whether one has to achieve the so called level of happiness is defined in his/her level of contentment he/she has set. Oh yes, it is always easy to rebuff this ideology that one has low level of or no goals/dreams/contentment because I have not much of what I want in life. How true is that? I’ve seen great men and women making big in life and you see them, you imagine, are these people what they seem to be? I admire Ms Elim Chew, founder of 77th street, a great philanthropist with a humble nature, so willing to help and give to the next generation. Most may think: ah she’s rich, she got it all, of course she can do whatever she want, so far and so forth but how many knows about her and her humble beginnings?
When the word Contentment fell into my head, I came to realize that I take much joy with what I have, what I do, where I am, what have went through. It is not because I have low expectations or nothing much to look forward in life but rather, how I know to count my blessings in my own life. I know that amidst my problems and imperfections, I learnt to champion my situations. People may never know what you and I have gone through but at the end of the day, I can be contented with what I have; simply because I appreciate what the world deems it “simple pleasures” of life.
“Success is, waking up and cannot wait to fly out of the door every morning. Success is, making people feel. Success is, working with the people you love and connecting with the world. And Success is finding a way to bind people with no connections with a dream. Success is, joy, freedom, friendship. Lastly, Success is really Love”- you can give without loving but you can never love without giving.
Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers.
3 JOHN 2
Monday, March 8, 2010
Prosperity
"Is the seed still in the barn? As yet the vine, the fig tree, the pomegranate, and the olive tree have not yielded fruit. But from this day I will bless you.’” - Haggai 2:19
finally, in the marketplace, for the marketplace, to penetrate the marketplace. Incredulously blown off was my mind. in split seconds, my vision became clear, my mind sober, extremely clear and when it all seem like a dream to many. applauses, tears of joy, whistles, exclamation was all let loose at expo hall 1 on 6th Mar'10. land found, building secured and in 12 months, Shouts of Joy and Celebration will come liken to the Year of Jubilee when the Israelites are being set free and every of their debts if owned are cancelled and a year where they celebrated; every 7 years whereby the number 7 signifies COMPLETE or PERFECT.
as we begin to arise and build, truly from this very day, god will bless and build our own houses. I yearn n desire the day when god come and ask me,"son ask, what shall I give to you?" (1kings 3:5)
so often we find outselves witholding and being self-centered, never able to discover the power effects of giving and thus shortchanging ourselves a huge milestone. and the power of giving brings out a generous spirit. Many people have huge amounts of wealth and savings because they believe the richer one becomes, the happier he/she will also become, unknowingly allowing themselves becoming slaves to mammon.
How wealthy a person is measured, truly (my 2cents) is how his/her prospers. We can gain the whole world but lose our soul. Coming to our end of our lifespan, will these accumulated riches/wealth/mammon, be carried into our "next life"? Give and it shall be given back, shaken together and running over. Allow our soul to prosper and we need to find our own ways to make it happen.
I await enthusiastically for 2011 because as i sow in tears, i shall surely reap in joy. 2011, i believe will be a year of building and consecration. i do not know what is going to happen but surely, from this very day, my path is surely clear. something in me awaits to explode and i await...
finally, in the marketplace, for the marketplace, to penetrate the marketplace. Incredulously blown off was my mind. in split seconds, my vision became clear, my mind sober, extremely clear and when it all seem like a dream to many. applauses, tears of joy, whistles, exclamation was all let loose at expo hall 1 on 6th Mar'10. land found, building secured and in 12 months, Shouts of Joy and Celebration will come liken to the Year of Jubilee when the Israelites are being set free and every of their debts if owned are cancelled and a year where they celebrated; every 7 years whereby the number 7 signifies COMPLETE or PERFECT.
as we begin to arise and build, truly from this very day, god will bless and build our own houses. I yearn n desire the day when god come and ask me,"son ask, what shall I give to you?" (1kings 3:5)
so often we find outselves witholding and being self-centered, never able to discover the power effects of giving and thus shortchanging ourselves a huge milestone. and the power of giving brings out a generous spirit. Many people have huge amounts of wealth and savings because they believe the richer one becomes, the happier he/she will also become, unknowingly allowing themselves becoming slaves to mammon.
How wealthy a person is measured, truly (my 2cents) is how his/her prospers. We can gain the whole world but lose our soul. Coming to our end of our lifespan, will these accumulated riches/wealth/mammon, be carried into our "next life"? Give and it shall be given back, shaken together and running over. Allow our soul to prosper and we need to find our own ways to make it happen.
I await enthusiastically for 2011 because as i sow in tears, i shall surely reap in joy. 2011, i believe will be a year of building and consecration. i do not know what is going to happen but surely, from this very day, my path is surely clear. something in me awaits to explode and i await...
Monday, March 1, 2010
Inner spiritual Thirst and Hunger
Wow! what a great message preached last sat! thank god i din missed it :p
so often when we "accustomized" ourselves to the things and rituals of god that we start to lose that very first love when we had our very first love. no doubt that we're still steadfast in our service to the church and the people, fervently in our works and has slowly, lost that very reason in our works. Jesus reminded the fervent Ephesus church in Revelation that they were a powerful church but yet, He had this against them, that they have left their first love. (Rev 2:1)
i think the first words that came into my mind was "complacency" and "religiousity". these characteristics creeps on us over periods of time and probably no one is spared of them. even myself, am guilty of committing them. we think that as long as we're serving, doing the works, faithfully attend cg and service or doing certain things that pleases god and our salvation is guaranteed. the question is," how sure is sure?"
when the message was preached forth, everything came into my reminiscence my very first time encounter with god. it was unforgettable and still so vivid today. When i was in my secondary four, in february, when 3 of my classmates invited me to church. i never really had a problem going to church since my relatives always invited me to church but i was only there to fool around and play with my cousins and friends. when it was worship, everyone lifted their hands, i felt totally out of place. @,@" so i decided to lift my hands in unison and close my eyes. the very moment i did that, tears began to well up in my eyes and trickle down my cheeks uncontrollably. i could not explain the phenomenon and worse still, no matter how hard i tried to hold back, more tears flowed... and the rest is history.
the most beautiful part was is that 11 years later, here i am, standing boldy proclaiming His goodness and mercy. It was because of what He done, here i am today. as i looked back, a deliquent, an outcast, someone that parents had lost hopes of their child making in life, simply hoping he wont embark on a wrong route of life; a wasted piece of clay when all hopes seemed lost, a dropout and a hopeless. Coming from the pits of helplessness and hopelessness to a life of joy, gratitude, goals and finally dreams. "For a man without a dream is a lifeless being." pressing on the higher calling says apostle paul.
as i look back, what i have is gratitude and True Joy. whereby a sensation deep down that cant be explained. what i can do and give is my life as a tool to be used for His kingdom sake. "for i was lost, and you found me. i was weak and you made me strong. i was poor and you made me rich; you stripped it all for my sake."
so often when we "accustomized" ourselves to the things and rituals of god that we start to lose that very first love when we had our very first love. no doubt that we're still steadfast in our service to the church and the people, fervently in our works and has slowly, lost that very reason in our works. Jesus reminded the fervent Ephesus church in Revelation that they were a powerful church but yet, He had this against them, that they have left their first love. (Rev 2:1)
i think the first words that came into my mind was "complacency" and "religiousity". these characteristics creeps on us over periods of time and probably no one is spared of them. even myself, am guilty of committing them. we think that as long as we're serving, doing the works, faithfully attend cg and service or doing certain things that pleases god and our salvation is guaranteed. the question is," how sure is sure?"
when the message was preached forth, everything came into my reminiscence my very first time encounter with god. it was unforgettable and still so vivid today. When i was in my secondary four, in february, when 3 of my classmates invited me to church. i never really had a problem going to church since my relatives always invited me to church but i was only there to fool around and play with my cousins and friends. when it was worship, everyone lifted their hands, i felt totally out of place. @,@" so i decided to lift my hands in unison and close my eyes. the very moment i did that, tears began to well up in my eyes and trickle down my cheeks uncontrollably. i could not explain the phenomenon and worse still, no matter how hard i tried to hold back, more tears flowed... and the rest is history.
the most beautiful part was is that 11 years later, here i am, standing boldy proclaiming His goodness and mercy. It was because of what He done, here i am today. as i looked back, a deliquent, an outcast, someone that parents had lost hopes of their child making in life, simply hoping he wont embark on a wrong route of life; a wasted piece of clay when all hopes seemed lost, a dropout and a hopeless. Coming from the pits of helplessness and hopelessness to a life of joy, gratitude, goals and finally dreams. "For a man without a dream is a lifeless being." pressing on the higher calling says apostle paul.
as i look back, what i have is gratitude and True Joy. whereby a sensation deep down that cant be explained. what i can do and give is my life as a tool to be used for His kingdom sake. "for i was lost, and you found me. i was weak and you made me strong. i was poor and you made me rich; you stripped it all for my sake."
Monday, February 22, 2010
A New Beginning~
Oops~ i just realized that i have not updated my blog for a good 2 months! talk about faithfulness... oops~ sorry... :x
WimpyKid wishes you all a Happy Lunar New Year and Romantic Valentine's Day! :) Have been very busy lately due to studies especially! was quite sad coz my exam fell on the 7th day of CNY! :( thats the problem when you study a overseas Uni whose holidays do not coincide locally. haiz~ nvm~ its over... feeling a lil' depressed coz although the paper wasnt difficult.. simply don't understand how the school wants students to write quantitatively when you give us a meagre 2hrs 25mins to pirouette on and answer 1 essay qns and 3 short qns... and sadly... i couldnt finish my paper... by the time im done w the essay qns.. i used a good 1.25hrs.. whatever!! >,<
anyway, time really flies... back to reality after a good CNY and all that mugging, i realize that i... would... be... COMPLETING MY STUDIES IN ANOTHER 5MONTHS TIME!~ wooohoooo~ :D
when you look back, you liken the period that it was all "yesterday" but come to think of it.. i have been through this Life-cycle of working and studying for a good 4yrs+ and 4.5yrs upon completion... of course i know by the time i finish, my emotions/feelings/thoughts/etc would be of another level but RIGHT NOW! i feel that it really looked like very long and also very short :x (contradictoRy~ but life's a contradiction sometimes.. :p)
i was talking to my mum few days back, then it really seemed like a long time when you review the process itself. but i have to say, all is very well worth it. although she said that if i stayed on working in my 1st job (aft my NS), i would have travelled to countless places and yet, i laughed in my heart coz she don't know how much im currently earning @,@" wahahaha~ so funny~ i laughed coz i never forget how i slogged and worked my lungs and hearts out to earn a sub-std salary. although it was proli the best years of my life (fun!) where i made worthy friends and mentors, i worked like a REAL vampire, going for literally no leaves for 3-4mths and my house was like a hotel. lol~ really really memorable. i really appreciate those friends and mentors even till today because they showed me strength, courage, support, help and opportunities.
truly, the beginning is not important but going through the process and pressing on to the prize at the end that really matters. have i not decide to pursue a longer route, i think i would not have gain much and acquire companions that have helped me sacrificially on the way. BUT! even after this Jul, it doesnt end but a new beginning, route, chapter unfolds!
WimpyKid wishes you all a Happy Lunar New Year and Romantic Valentine's Day! :) Have been very busy lately due to studies especially! was quite sad coz my exam fell on the 7th day of CNY! :( thats the problem when you study a overseas Uni whose holidays do not coincide locally. haiz~ nvm~ its over... feeling a lil' depressed coz although the paper wasnt difficult.. simply don't understand how the school wants students to write quantitatively when you give us a meagre 2hrs 25mins to pirouette on and answer 1 essay qns and 3 short qns... and sadly... i couldnt finish my paper... by the time im done w the essay qns.. i used a good 1.25hrs.. whatever!! >,<
anyway, time really flies... back to reality after a good CNY and all that mugging, i realize that i... would... be... COMPLETING MY STUDIES IN ANOTHER 5MONTHS TIME!~ wooohoooo~ :D
when you look back, you liken the period that it was all "yesterday" but come to think of it.. i have been through this Life-cycle of working and studying for a good 4yrs+ and 4.5yrs upon completion... of course i know by the time i finish, my emotions/feelings/thoughts/etc would be of another level but RIGHT NOW! i feel that it really looked like very long and also very short :x (contradictoRy~ but life's a contradiction sometimes.. :p)
i was talking to my mum few days back, then it really seemed like a long time when you review the process itself. but i have to say, all is very well worth it. although she said that if i stayed on working in my 1st job (aft my NS), i would have travelled to countless places and yet, i laughed in my heart coz she don't know how much im currently earning @,@" wahahaha~ so funny~ i laughed coz i never forget how i slogged and worked my lungs and hearts out to earn a sub-std salary. although it was proli the best years of my life (fun!) where i made worthy friends and mentors, i worked like a REAL vampire, going for literally no leaves for 3-4mths and my house was like a hotel. lol~ really really memorable. i really appreciate those friends and mentors even till today because they showed me strength, courage, support, help and opportunities.
truly, the beginning is not important but going through the process and pressing on to the prize at the end that really matters. have i not decide to pursue a longer route, i think i would not have gain much and acquire companions that have helped me sacrificially on the way. BUT! even after this Jul, it doesnt end but a new beginning, route, chapter unfolds!
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
New Year 2010
its breathtaking to enter 2010 with a blink of the eye already... time passes us unexpectedly mercilessly indeed and age creeps on you without you knowing like coup de grace....?
i end 2009 with lots of emotions. memories and mixed feelings; at the same time, with innermost heartfelt intense gratitude. Before i get complained about being longwinded, to surmise 2009, it truly has been a rollercoaster ride; may i be humbled to use, how the world rided the economy? it comes to my memory as i write is, that the road that's straight is also narrow. from riding the "driver's seat" into the sky lines to dropping back to earth into the earth's core and back to reality again. my description: Intense, Exciting, Exasperating, Breathless, Touching, Joyous, Tearful, Heartbreaking, Heartwrenching, Nervebreaking, Angered, Confused, Ignorant, Oblivious, Challenged, Emotional, Mixed, Lost, Speechless, Found, Taught, Given, Reunited, Reconciled, Forgiven, Loved...
Positive Celebration and Praise becomes precious when you know you cant do them. Forgiveness and letting go becomes powerful when you know you cant do them.
Prayer and Surrender becomes a part of you when you know cant do them.
Love becomes you when you know you cant do them.
Lastly, there's many people that i want to thank for making a HUGE difference in my life and drawing beautiful strokes in my life painting. I cannot offer anything in return for your footprints but to say thank you and i love you all. you guys will surely receive a reward that is due to you because of what you guys did. As i was talking to my beloved manager today, it brings to my remembrance that "it is not how one starts the race, but how one ends the race." I want to remember if possible, all the beautiful carvings enacted into my memories, every little acts and gestures of kindness and love showered. To reminicse all of them and if possible return them with "compounded interest" to you all. The best has yet to come...
Together, lets live out our dreams with our borrowed lifes... i owe my life to every single one of you out there. Many Many Thanks... :)
starfield-unashamed
*a love that one cant explain....*
i end 2009 with lots of emotions. memories and mixed feelings; at the same time, with innermost heartfelt intense gratitude. Before i get complained about being longwinded, to surmise 2009, it truly has been a rollercoaster ride; may i be humbled to use, how the world rided the economy? it comes to my memory as i write is, that the road that's straight is also narrow. from riding the "driver's seat" into the sky lines to dropping back to earth into the earth's core and back to reality again. my description: Intense, Exciting, Exasperating, Breathless, Touching, Joyous, Tearful, Heartbreaking, Heartwrenching, Nervebreaking, Angered, Confused, Ignorant, Oblivious, Challenged, Emotional, Mixed, Lost, Speechless, Found, Taught, Given, Reunited, Reconciled, Forgiven, Loved...
Positive Celebration and Praise becomes precious when you know you cant do them. Forgiveness and letting go becomes powerful when you know you cant do them.
Prayer and Surrender becomes a part of you when you know cant do them.
Love becomes you when you know you cant do them.
Lastly, there's many people that i want to thank for making a HUGE difference in my life and drawing beautiful strokes in my life painting. I cannot offer anything in return for your footprints but to say thank you and i love you all. you guys will surely receive a reward that is due to you because of what you guys did. As i was talking to my beloved manager today, it brings to my remembrance that "it is not how one starts the race, but how one ends the race." I want to remember if possible, all the beautiful carvings enacted into my memories, every little acts and gestures of kindness and love showered. To reminicse all of them and if possible return them with "compounded interest" to you all. The best has yet to come...
Together, lets live out our dreams with our borrowed lifes... i owe my life to every single one of you out there. Many Many Thanks... :)
starfield-unashamed
*a love that one cant explain....*
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