Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Giving

as usual, the chc saga rants on and on....

sometimes, when i read 'em on forums and blogs abt how people demean my church, my leaders and my members, it angers and saddens me. so often, i would love to rebute them but indeed, rebukes are for the wise and not for fools.

it is really laughable that people today, wants the churches to come clean with every dollar that they spent on. no doubt, it is necessary that churches come clean and be transparent about it but when one looks up in the forums and blogs on their displeasures and anger. it has become so funny because although we give, we want to know EXACTLY where the funds go to. even if transparency, people keep digging and digging and criticising and make assumptions that there's sure some form of discrepencies and fraud going on. i have to agree that nothing pains us especially when fellow christians join in the fray.

Giving, where the bible states clearly that we're simply STEWARDS of our finances. we are entitled to the 90% after paying our tithes. even so, we're called stewards. although investigations are still going on, people reiterate that they want to know every single penny the church uses and stuff like that. as stewards, do you question your master's intentions? draw from the example that if you have a maid, does your maid inquire why do you do certain things? it is really laughable when we as stewards insinuate that we're now MASTERS of the same mammon that we have given. even so, the church is simply a medium we give to god. at the end of the day, arent we giving and entrusting our finances to god's hands? remember, whatever we give, will be surely given back to us right? don't get me wrong on this, if the church is found fradulent, are you afraid that the church will be able to abscond and not face anything? remember, Vengence is god's. as a man sows, he will surely reap. let reward/judgement come at His timing and not yours! don't play god. the end of the day, we're simply stewards of our finances and merely looking after it. a steward is a servant not a master.

i would like to say a word for my church and her leadership. more than a decade, i ve attended chc. my life, truly is a testimony of His grace and His very own church. my life would be still in a despair if not for the people and teachings. i see the good, the bad, the ugly. i admit tat i stop attending for a couple of years in between and it has indeed allowed me to see the ugly more. people ask me, how do i maintain a clear line as a christian with my friends, i simply tell them it is because i learn and apply what i learn in church. i learn integrity, honesty, discipline, character, attitude and morals. something that many will say will be taught in school and home. But i behest that i cultivated them into fruits of my life when i was in church. today i learn the importance of family, friends and love not because im compelled to but because i was shown that in church. i was taught that i can be succesful and a role model wherever i am in church. i was taught to be loving and generous and learn to give a helping hand in church rather than to only learn to fend for myself; me, myself and i when i was working. i learnt about backstabbing and politics at a tender age of 20 and because i learn to repay good with evil when i was 17 that i turned these backstabbers into my friends despite what they have done. what i learnt over the decade, brought me to be who i am today and gave me a dream, a vision and a hope for the future. faithful readers would know that an outcast, someone whose parents have already given up hope on, has moved to a different stage today. not because he was determined or something magical, or miraculously happened; but because the love in the church, was shared to him. i learnt that through giving, not jus i cant be given back, but i cant impact someone. inspite of my difficulties and trials, i know i can use them to help someone as well.

Monday, June 21, 2010

Righteousness

wondered how often, we, knowing what's right and whats wrong, become quick to judge, criticize, pinpoint, correct and become cynical, overtime become sensitive to every little errs. all this denotes from the righteousness within us. this is equivalent to what's called "self-righteousness".
i still rem when i jus became a christian over a decade ago. it seemed that my world suddenly had "rules" governing it. suddenly, you become aware of the DOs and DONTs. things that weren't right, you wanna attest to the new-found faith, to do what's right. then i began to push what i believed to others. as i began to abstain, i expected people closed to me to move in the same direction. it was so wrong and foolish. i began to criticize and become cynical especially of what my parents and my closed friends did. i would "preach" to them and enter into arguments because of differing views and perspectives. sadly, one would know that these bonds began cracking...

Matt 5 teaches us the beattitudes which are attitudes we should have as we progress in our christian walk. in Verses 6, "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,For they shall be filled" where the corresponding verse 20, "For I say to you, that unless your righteousness exceeds the righteousness of the scribes and Pharisees, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven." whereby to enter heaven, we gotta seek righteousness, and yet, pastor Tan pointed out in verse 7, "Blessed are the merciful, For they shall obtain mercy." why?

later as you read on, jesus reiterated that he came not to abolish the laws of moses but to establish it. in order to, with these laws serving to govern us from the right and wrongs, it is through our mercy towards others that will determining one's righteousness. so often, we become quite to judge and correct but without being gracious. we jump at the fact especially when we're wronged instead of giving others the benefit of doubt and be gracious. once again, our righteousness is expressed through our mercy, not through exercising justice.

as i go through the book of wisdom (Proverbs), i feel extremely blessed again and again because, indeed, as we heart wisdom, it will surely heart to us.
Prov 11:12-13 "He who is devoid of wisdom despises his neighbor, But a man of understanding holds his peace. A talebearer reveals secrets, But he who is of a faithful spirit conceals a matter."
Prov 17:9 "he who covers a transgression seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates friends."
-these verses served as a reminder for me to always be gracious. during the Asia Conference, pastor kong reminded us that a leader is accepting even when his/her people makes wrong decisions. and John C.Maxwell writes that," a good leader is gracious, gives people the benefit of doubts."

Even said, time and time again, despite having the knowledge/understanding, we slip into the wrong side of the river and commit the same old mistakes because we're human after all. and yet, it will become an asset as we keep reminding ourselves and best of all, always practising what we learn. it definitely takes 3 months to cultivate a good habit and 3 days to learn a bad one. i was speaking to a confide and as he began explaining to me about something in having grace even if the other party is of significance, it still vivid in my mind that i rebuffed that very idealogy not because i was stubborn, but because when we allow emotions and other factors (despite we being right) to make that decision. it was hard, i would say, impregnable fotress in me? the next day, i was convicted not because i was right, but because god asked me to try to be gracious even all is lost. i guess it is easy to forgive when others are not so close but when it is within our boundaries, it gets harder and harder and what's more, when its someone you look up to and respect. fresh in my mind, after tat very conversation, i texted my confide saying, " sadly, im not *** but a ***, im not that gracious." and a reply," :) ".

like pastor spoke, so often, in today's web 2.0, people are trying so hard to change the world or their world behind a screen. i simply love it when pastor says," i change the world by holding someone's hands and looking to them in the eye." technology enhancements can cripple us if we're not cautious. i always remember telling my bestie that if i want to help you, i will not text or call you but i would want to meet you so i can see your body language and at the same time, you can see mine and know if im doing this in love or simply out of duty....

Thursday, June 17, 2010

David Archuleta - To Be With You



I've been alone so many nights now,
And I've been waitin' for the stars to fall.
I keep holdin' out for what I don't know
To be with you, just to be with you.

So here I am staring at the moon tonight,
Wondering how you look in this light.
Maybe you're somewhere thinkin' about me too.
To be with you, there's nothing I wouldn't do.

And I can't imagine two worlds spinnin' apart
Come together eventually..

And when we finally meet, I'll know it's right.
I'll be at the end of my restless road.
But this journey, it was worth the fight.
To be with you, just to be...

Holding you for the very first time, never letting go.
What I wouldn't give to feel that way...
Oh...

Oh, to be with you...

Oh, and I can't imagine two worlds spinnin' apart
Come together eventually.

And when you're standin' here in front of me,
That's when I know that God does exist.
'Cause He will have answered every single prayer.
To be with you, just to be with you, yeah.
You....

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Heart vs Mind

to follow your heart than your mind? which is the correct choice? sorry fellows, i have no answer for you if you asked....

so often we get into what i deem "chicken and egg" situation and get really lost, confused, frustrated, uptight and irritated. possibly with ourselves. i wonder what would it be for myself if i was to come to this standstill? truth foretold, im in this situation!!!! crap! lol~

i was jus sharing with my bestie that: 'it is so hard to do what's right even if you know its right.' its stinging and frustrating and it gets to one, devouring our energy and focus. most of the time, we struggle not in the black and white zone but in the grey zone; no doubts abt it, but we will be challenged time n time again of our character. knowing what's right and actually fulfilling/doing it, i would say, it can be 2 different stories. pressures pile and pile, all around you seem oblivious and it can get harsh.

the human is weak after all. coming to a point where one feels stagnant, confused, lost, disappointed, discouraged devours mercilessly and devoid of the right frame of mind all of a sudden. movement still in place but into delusion. seeking to avoid, to suppress and disconnect. and possibly ignorance will bring temporal comfort but day-in day-out, a state of oblivion and despair creeps. simply do not know how to react or what to do. the state of mind starts shattering.

its so hard, so hard... yet, grace abounds, mercies that flows because we're only weak than we can be made strong. making a decision to do what's right even with a feeble heart, it serves to strengthen and be encouraged. here is love, poured out so freely. yet the choice of freedom is still available for one to make the right decision. crumbling before pressures or pressures can crumble before us. leaders are constantly tested in keeping their cool under immense pressures and never getting their ego involved. this is because our feelings cannot touch god but our faith does...

the world may fall, but you never fail
i sought to run, but you sought for me
you waited in silence, with grace and mercy
even i turned my face, you kept waiting
in folly and unfaithfulness, you remained faithful
devoid of choices, you offered unrelentlessly
you never forget despite my ungratefulness
your love, has become my sweetest devotion
to let me find you once again...

when i don't know what to do... y did i disconnect and choose to crumble?

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

strangers

humanity is about curiousity
either it kills or saves
choices made will determine
turning either left or right

as our paths crossed
i wonder was it fate
strangers we came from
strangers will we return?

thoughts that hinders
mirages that obscures
lost was the joy intensity
all quiescence bring unease

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Asia Conference - Day 1 - Session 3

Dr Kong - Culturally Savvy Christian

3 crippling mentalities:
a) Cocooning: Withdrawal, Isolation
we preach insulation but practice isolation
b) Combating: Fight, Resist, Oppose
we fight against everything of the world with our "righteousness"
c) Conforming: Compromise
"Gospel-lite"-compromise to the world.
*To be Gospel's Light, not 'Gospel-lite'"

Upward Mobility - we're called to be excellent, Daniel was ten times(Prov 22:9) better than everyone. (Dan 1:4) - King Nebuchadnezzer required all citizens of his kingdom to:
i. Learn the culture of Babylon
ii. Learn the culure of Babylon
iii. Learn the fashion of Babylon
iv. Change/Adapt Babylonia names
v. Take the jobs of Babylon
-Daniel did all the above but he did not compromise or give him his Consecration.
therefore its important that we be both Savvy in Culture and our Faith.
1) Counter Culture like aliens - don't be against it!
2) Communicate in Culture like ambassadors
3) Create Culture like Artists - be christianly-creative!
*keeping faith even its hard.

all said, today, with the cultural mandate released, sometimes we grow overly contemporary. culturally-savvy that we forget our roots. remember balance is the key although we all know it can be close to impossible to meet the equilibrium, yet to constantly move to the center-stage. Both Contemporary and Consecrated. whereby we build our lifes in spiritual disciplines.

Spiritual Disciplines (Bible-reading/meditation, Prayer, Fasting, Praise/Worship/Thanksgiving, Solitude w god, Confession/Repentence/Forgiveness, Faithfulness to the church) - these disciplines keep us consecrated, to influence and not be influenced. All successful ministries embraces consecration + Contemporary.

Consecration - Learn spiritual disciplines
Contemporary - Engaging the world.

our attitude determines our altitude. with status/promotion. what takes one to stay there is your character and therefore, those spiritual disciplines are the very cornerstones that we need to heart upon but so often neglected. We go up and without a strong character/foundation, we breakdown.

i was praying couple of days ago, i felt that an area in my life found lacking. i found myself uttering the words "god, i want more wisdom and that i would heart wisdom so that wisdom will heart me".

couple of weeks back, i was spending my time in solitude because i felt discouraged about certain things and in my despair, i felt stupid about myself. i decided to go into the book of wisdom - Proverbs. in the very beginning, king solomon wrote that we shoudl pursue wisdom for it is more precious than anything. these words kept revolving in my mind as i meditate on these words. with these words, i felt reminded about expectation management, being open and more flexible. the very next day, the preacher spoke a word that set my discouragement flying in all ways and this was the very 1st time in my life i had a light-speed revelation. and just as i was about to give up hope, i was strengthened again to have faith, be patient, trust and pray.

one of the beautiful things is that when we least expect it, good friends are just around the corner to give us a helping hand. choosing the right kinds of people to be with will really determine the type fo person you'll become. in crisis(s), our relationships are purged and the real ones stay by you. i was blessed to take the train with a nice lady today to school despite the heavy rain and although the conversation was not really in depth, once again, i was reminded of something beautiful last year Oct which made me felt so blessed that i wanted to bless those that were there last year. Good people come in all sorts of packages, shapes and sizes and it can in the walls and out of the walls of the church. love all just as the same and you'll find yourself moving into culturally-savviness.

Asia Conference Day 1 - Session 2

Pst Phil - Pray

most christians miss out their walk with god due to a poor/weak prayer life. Prayer is like breathing. when one stops praying, he/she cuts off his/her life-supply or connection with god. pray is esteeming god more than anything and seeking Him. when we go through good times, bad times, pray. James 5:13 reminds us that," anyone that's suffering, let him pray..."

Dr yonggi cho reiterated again and again that his church is built on a life of prayer. a christian without prayer is a powerless christian. It is the key to revival, success, personal victory. it has gotta be as natural as breathing. Faith is the persistence crying unto god.

Therefore go into the presence of god, keep speaking, and speak the positives. Which is why, our words have the power of life and death. The first thing in the bible is not communication, but rather Creation - our words create our world. sometimes when we're in pain coz god wants us to turn our face to Him; in a face-to-face manner.

1 The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still waters. He restores my soul; He leads me in the paths of righteousness For His name’s sake. - Psa 23:1-3

those that have been my faithful followers on my blog and/or my good friends that know me well will know the power of pray. it works time and again. Have faith, pray, mix it with your works and overtime, you'll see results. so often, i get questions like "how do you do it? how do you be so focused? etc" my answer, trust and pray. our life's walk is filled with so much uncertainty and mysteries like the economic cycle, full of ups and downs. you know that today, the ups is not gonna last because soon, there'll be bound to be a time that you "free-fall". coping with both ends aren't easy because life's aren't all rosy. and yet, i know, keeping my life in check, helps me to find focus, and this translates to greater productivity, resulting in stability and thus security.

remember that you can either overcome or be overcome. all our lifes move in a pattern of the 4 seasonal change-Summer, Autumn, Winter, Spring. learn to ebb & flow. movement may not be progress, thats why we can be moving in circles. if today, you're in a bad situation (winter), learn to hibernate, move back to a place where its just you and god. Both of you form the majority. return to your first works, remember the time when you first met Him, the time you first experienced Him, the time He blessed you. If you're in a good good situation (any of the 3 seasons), always remember to be humble, don't allow yourself to the better of anything. shout His praises, be thankful, spread the joy, never be lax just because everything is going well-complacency goes before a downfall; remember to let Him lord/govern your life. this could be a time of preparation for an EBB-time. so that when you're ebbing, you are progressing and faster than any other time when you go through winter seasons.

lastly, i leave you to learn the power of expectation management. a perfectionist myself, this has proved invaluable time and time again even till this very moment. sometimes we put our faith and efforts into something and hopeful that something positive turns out. yet, we stumble and we put the blame on god, on others etc. yet we really needa know how to react when things don't turn out to be what we wanted it to be. of coz, we need to put in effort in everything we do but at the same time, results is not the end but it could be a time of seeding and not harvesting. be patient. Trust and pray.