No qualms about it, none of us is perfect to begin with but yet, with this very fact of our imperfection, it makes all worthy and interesting. Learning to cope, to compromise, to learn and to love is the very essence of everything; be it a relationship or a friendship. Indeed, relationships; be it platonic or not, precedes all businesses/ministries. And ultimately, the kind of person we all become is determined by the kind of people we invest our time in, or otherwise, we mix with. Over periods of time, every individual have their own varying levels of threshold and limits; given our irrationality, love propels us beyond these limiters we have or place. Yet, so often, even so said, when all the little efforts put in goes unreciprocated, unappreciated; slowly but surely, that very hand awaiting to be clapped will dissipate.
So often, people say time will tell. Indeed, to a certain extent, this may be true. More importantly, majority use that to excuse themselves, waiting for something to happen. We do believe in mystical/magical things when we were young but we also know that such things maybe farfetched or merely do not exist now when we are older? We spend so much time waiting and when that thing that we have so much hoped for comes, we do not know what to do and how to react. Too little time? Afraid? Taken aback? Shocked? And thus when we put our hand into the plough, we still want to look back, take a step back, take a seat in the couch and carry on our old lifestyles or maybe stay in that comfort zone of ours? Maybe yes, maybe no. Life simply may have too much regrets and given a choice, I choose to move on and not to have more regrets anymore. At the very least, someone once said,” when I’m old on my death bed, I do not wish that I have any regrets that I know that I could have done and not do it… because now its simply too late…” If need be, fail your way to success because at least, you are trying. Reason being, the day one stops trying, it will be the day he/she starts dying, literally.
Time and time again, different people walk in and out of our lives leaving big and small footprints in our hearts. The extent of impart they leave is entirely dependent on how much we want them to. Ultimately, first it takes two hands to clap as one hand only beats the air. It took me 26 good years of my life to understand the essence of the term ‘friends’ but it doesn’t need much of me to understand the importance to cherish and treasure someone that I want to love. The greatest Man said that to abide in faith, hope and love and the greatest of them all is truly, love. Faith – to believe, Hope – to look forward, Love – the very foundation. Truly, one can give without loving but cannot love without giving. Love propels us to do the unimaginable.
At this very moment, I need not tell myself what I can do, what I can give or what I can do more because I know I fulfill what’s far and beyond myself. Maybe to some, these are just norms but to me, I beat my chest and say I exceeded myself once more and I’m glad I did because most importantly I tried and kept trying. Indeed, where your treasure is, there your heart will also be because when you have the heart, you will have the time.
Through it all, I think I’m still very humane. My heart is very alive and beating, a heart made of flesh and not of stone. I guess I also need someone that cares for me, appreciates me and loves me for I am too? I do not know but yes, I won’t play god because I don’t have that unfailing and unconditional love… There’s just too much about life that’s sad and negative that I know I do not want to be in that state at all and thus the reason for my positivity and my faith. I still will try but sometimes, too much waiting and too much giving and it doesn’t comes back the way it should be makes one wonder where has all that gone to. Little kind acts of gestures, thanks and love go a long way. Words of encouragement are oxygen to the soul and so often, we are brought up in a culture/environment that tells us the opposite. Therefore, maybe it could be quite important that we learn to esteem others better than ourselves.
Still remember lately someone told me that maybe I was the one immature and I began to wonder if that was the issue I had and yet, pondering over and over this matter, I wonder if it was the case because maturity comes with accepting responsibilities? “Therefore, let no one despise your youth, but be an example… in word, in conduct, in love, in spirit.” Yes, I agree I’m more long-winded, overly sensitive, more demanding, irrational and probably very different from the rest but could it be better and different from the rest rather than going through the same motion as the rest? Put our differing expectations, perceptions, comparisons, differences at home and keep them far far away; simply because every single is different and unique in his/her own ways.
