Inner spiritual Thirst and Hunger

Wow! what a great message preached last sat! thank god i din missed it :p

so often when we "accustomized" ourselves to the things and rituals of god that we start to lose that very first love when we had our very first love. no doubt that we're still steadfast in our service to the church and the people, fervently in our works and has slowly, lost that very reason in our works. Jesus reminded the fervent Ephesus church in Revelation that they were a powerful church but yet, He had this against them, that they have left their first love. (Rev 2:1)

i think the first words that came into my mind was "complacency" and "religiousity". these characteristics creeps on us over periods of time and probably no one is spared of them. even myself, am guilty of committing them. we think that as long as we're serving, doing the works, faithfully attend cg and service or doing certain things that pleases god and our salvation is guaranteed. the question is," how sure is sure?"

when the message was preached forth, everything came into my reminiscence my very first time encounter with god. it was unforgettable and still so vivid today. When i was in my secondary four, in february, when 3 of my classmates invited me to church. i never really had a problem going to church since my relatives always invited me to church but i was only there to fool around and play with my cousins and friends. when it was worship, everyone lifted their hands, i felt totally out of place. @,@" so i decided to lift my hands in unison and close my eyes. the very moment i did that, tears began to well up in my eyes and trickle down my cheeks uncontrollably. i could not explain the phenomenon and worse still, no matter how hard i tried to hold back, more tears flowed... and the rest is history.

the most beautiful part was is that 11 years later, here i am, standing boldy proclaiming His goodness and mercy. It was because of what He done, here i am today. as i looked back, a deliquent, an outcast, someone that parents had lost hopes of their child making in life, simply hoping he wont embark on a wrong route of life; a wasted piece of clay when all hopes seemed lost, a dropout and a hopeless. Coming from the pits of helplessness and hopelessness to a life of joy, gratitude, goals and finally dreams. "For a man without a dream is a lifeless being." pressing on the higher calling says apostle paul.

as i look back, what i have is gratitude and True Joy. whereby a sensation deep down that cant be explained. what i can do and give is my life as a tool to be used for His kingdom sake. "for i was lost, and you found me. i was weak and you made me strong. i was poor and you made me rich; you stripped it all for my sake."