Photos from Lunar - 22/5

although y2j is not very far, this was the best i could make it. if i zoom my cam, the pics will be a goner. anyway i had fun. the house band was awesome... if only it was fri or the weekends... the music is gooooooood~

clare getting cranky. think nobody dares to play guessing game with me already. lol~ think claire is still bothered abt her concusion the other time at st james. wahahah~ i was feeling high early coz i skipped dinner. claire's friend, puzzel, treated us chicken wings which was nice. thks much babe. i tot bark's wings was a lil' nicer! =X

Woohoo~

wow! its being awhile since i blog... being bz lately coz my exams are coming and being out recently catching up with friends and stuff.

exam's coming in a couple of weeks so started to get on with my revision. although my attention span's short, think its better to start early. last wk's cg meeting was a "nightmare" to me coz i wasnt expecting so many people to come. i broke into cold sweat before the meeting started. just when we were getting into worship, my guitar string snapped!!!! oh my dogs, i was like "somebody save me" lol~ anyway, overall was good. vic was encouraging althou i think my praise flipped. gonna be a mth break for cg so i guess it would be a short breezer for me.

last wed, i went to lunar and shen mu yu tong (aka Y2J) was there. althou i didnt know who were they, but apparently it was not bad. was there to clear ron's half bottle but in the end, i opened another so i could get a table. there was a crowd and i tot i looked like an idiot standing at a corner whilst waiing for clare and her friend. in the end, we booze till 2am. i was like 0_0" coz i needed to work the following day and had school. i went school halftime before heading back to prac guitar and rest. will upload some pics when i'm free-er. ;p

anyway, coming to the end of this wk, i think its been a cool wk for me. getting into the groove again and getting myself pumped up to start to focus my vision again. definitely there're times that i get a lil' "jammed" up but things are looking better already. also, i thought abt certain things and really, god has shut the heavens for me in a particular area and i'm a lil' upset but its really for the better of me. so i decided to fight with him but to be more sober and better-wise up and be more focus. additionally, i also wanna do well for my upcoming exam. :)

For the vision is yet for an appointed time;
But at the end it will speak, and it will not lie.
Though it tarries, wait for it;
Because it will surely come,
It will not tarry.


its been a mth. i think its time to rise again. last wkend was reali a good wkend. a word in season will take us a long way. i really have to say that my vision indeed has got to be greater than anything. althou it has been a harsh experience, i came to realize that that relationship will serve as a sacrifice for my vision to come to past. hard to accept? definitely. yet i still learning and once again want to remember my vows and convenants that i promised to Him.

today is claire's birthday! yest she invited some of us to her party onboard. it was really fun!! oh my dogs, if only i had such a birthday bash when i was 21. too bad its over le sadness. anyway its really really fun although it rocked quite a bit and i tot i was pre-drunk before i even touched liquor.... lol~ (more pics on jack's slr, proli he will upload it to my facebook)

after the ride, jack gave me a ride down to st james (thks buddy, owe u plenty). ron, ltt, eric were waiting for me there already. its really crazy coz they ordered alot... i drank alot man~ zzz~ but was good coz it was cheap. my bro came along later wif desmond. ltt's friends, zhiwei and kenneth was there, nice meeting them and zhiwei was quite funny, this definitely wont be the last time partying wif ya bro~ kangwei was there too later, he went to boiler. i met some old friends lol~ zhihui n weida. long lost friends haha~ claudia was there so chat a lil' before she headed back to work. another lost friend... wahaha~ got to noe 2 gals there later and 1 of them i already forgot the name. i'm tired already.... gotta get more rest~ :)

(sly)

another crazy wed!! 13/5

apparently, mrs apple was siao and wanted to chill. we went shopping awhile at taka coz i needa get a nice gift for claire's 21st~ man, i had hell of a time choosing a gift since she's special. nv had much a headache getting a gift for a gal but yeah, claire, you're my hard nut! =X

after tat, apple's hubby drove us in his nice Mazda 3 to lunar. lionel n par met us there. we contemplated btw lunar or arena but settled for lunar since it was more of value. lionel, you're my hero baby~~

damn tired lor, i think i will rethink my drinking esp on wkdays.... -_-'''

Happy Birthday!!! 12/5

on tues we celebrated the birthday of 3 persons! Happy birthday to Kevin, Shannon and Claire!! wahaha~ in life, i believe there's no coincidence and yeah, i thk god that we crossed paths in life!! i hope as we celebrate you guys brithdays, this year will be an awesome year yup! let's build a nice friendship together and uphold one another together no matter wat. may all your dreams and endeavours come to past in this year and a yr gain is indeed another yr of wisdom gained as well! be blessed!

a group photo in the end. i really hope that we can forge a good relationship that will last a lifetime. we came into this world with nothing and we will leave with nothing too. the difference is that we'll leave with the bonds and relationships. memories are created to last... love ya guys.... :)

I do not know...

When you divorce me, Carry me out in your arms . . .
On my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms. The bridal car stopped in front of our one-room flat. My buddies insisted that I carry her out of the car in my arms. So I carried her into our home. She was then plump and shy. I was a strong and happy bridegroom.
This was the scene of ten years ago.
The following days were as simple as a cup of pure water: we had a kid, I went into business and tried to make more money. When the assets were steadily increasing, the affections between u seemed to ebb. She was a civil servant. Every morning we left home together and got home almost at the same time. Our kid was studying in a boarding school.
Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy.! But the calm life was more likely to be affected by unpredictable changes.

Then Dew came into my life..It was a sunny day. I stood on a spacious balcony. Dew hugged me from behind. My heart once again was immersed in her stream of love. This was the apartment I bought for her.
Dew said, "You are the kind of man who best draws girls' eyeballs. Her words suddenly reminded me of my wife. When we just married, my wife said, "Men like you, once successful, will be very attractive to girls." Thinking of this, I became somewhat hesitant. I knew I had betrayed mywife. But I couldn't help doing so.
I moved Dew's hands aside and said," You go to select some furniture, O.K.? I've got something to do in the company." Obviously she was unhappy, because I had promised to go and see it with her. At the moment, the idea of divorce became clearer in my mind although it used to be something impossible to me.

However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife about it. No matter how mildly I mentioned it to her, she would be deeply hurt. Honestly, she was a good wife. Every evening she was busy with work around the house. I was sitting in front of the TV. Then we watched TV together. Or, I was lounging before the computer, visualizing Dew's body. This was the means of my entertainment.
One day I said to her in a slight joking way, "suppose we divorce, what will you do?" She stared at me for a few seconds without a word. Apparently she believed that 'divorce' was something too far away from her. I couldn't imagine how she would react once she got to know I was serious.

When my wife went to my office, Dew had just stepped out. Almost all the staff looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye and tried to hide something while talking with her. She seemed to have got some hint. She gently smiled at my subordinates. But I read some hurt in her eyes.
Once again, Dew said to me, "He Ning, divorce her, O.K.? Then we live together." I nodded. I knew I could not hesitate any more.
When my wife served the last dish, I held her hand. "I've got something to tell you,"I said.
She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. "I want a divorce." I raised a serious topic calmly. She didn't seem to be much annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, "why..?"."I'm serious." I avoided her question. This so-called answer turned her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, "you are not a man!".
And that night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer, because my heart had gone to Dew.

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. I felt a pain in my heart. The woman who had been living ten years with me would become a stranger one day. But I could not take back what I had said.
Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer.
A late night, I came back home after entertaining my clients. I saw her writing something at the table. I fell asleep fast. When I woke up, I found she was still there. I turned over and was asleep again.

She brought up her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but I was supposed to give her one month's time before the divorce, and in the month's time we must live as normal life as possible. Her reason was simple: our son would finish his summer vacation a month later and she didn't want him to see our marriage was broken.
She passed me the agreement she drafted, and then asked me, "He Ning, do you still remember how I entered our bridal room on the wedding day?" This question suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories to me.
I nodded and said, "I remember.."."You carried me in your arms", she continued, "so, I have a requirement, that is, you carry me out in your arms on the day when we divorce. From now to the end of this month, you must carry me out from the bedroom to the door every morning."
I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those sweet days and wished to end her marriage with a romantic form.

I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. "No matter what tricks she does, she has to face the result of divorce," she said scornfully. Her words more or less made me feel uncomfortable.
My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention. I carried her out for the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, "daddy is holding mummy in his arms." His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly, "Let us start from today, don't tell our son. "I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus, I drove to office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. We were so close that I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this intimate woman carefully for a long time. I found she was not young any more. There were some fine wrinkles on her face.
On the third day, she whispered to me, "The outside garden is being demolished. Be careful when you pass there."

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to feel that we were still an intimate couple and I was holding my sweetheart in my arms. The visualization of Dew became vaguer.
On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me something, such as, where she put the ironed shirts, I should be careful while looking, etc. I nodded. The sense of intimacy was even stronger.
I didn't tell Dew about this.
I felt it was easier to carry her. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. I said to her, "It seems not difficult to carry you now."
She was picking her dresses. I was waiting to carry her out. She tried quite a few but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, "All my dresses have grown fatter." I smiled. But I suddenly realized that it was because she was thinner that I could carry her more easily, not because I was stronger. I knew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart. Again, I felt a sense of pain. Subconsciously I reached out a hand to touch her head.
Our son came in at the moment. "Dad, it's time to carry mum out." He said. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had been an essential part of his life. She gestured our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face because I was afraid I would change my mind at the last minute. I held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly, as if we came back to our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad.
On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. She said, "Actually I hope you will hold me in your arms until we are old.."
I held her tightly and said, "Both you and I didn't notice that our life was lack of such intimacy."
I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my decision. I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door. I said to her, "Sorry, Dew, I won't divorce. I'm serious."
She looked at me, astonished. Then she touched my forehead. "You got no fever." She said. I moved her hand off my head. "Sorry, Dew," I said, "I can only say sorry to you, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of life, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I understand that since I carried her into the home, she gave birth to our child, I am supposed to hold her until I am old. So I have to say sorry to you.."
Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove to the office.
When I passed the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet for my wife which was her favorite. The salesgirl asked me to write the greeting words on the card. I smiled and wrote, "I'll carry you out every morning until we are old . . ."


i was reading thru this on http://amaku-shizuka.blogspot.com/2009/04/i-want-to-share.html
and the beauty of this entirety brought such emotions that tears want to well themselves in my eyes if i'm not at work. truly, not everything turns out to be so beautiful yeah?

where can i go, i do not know
what do i think, i do not know
why do i cry, i do not know
how can i soar once more,
i do not know...

Sat night fever~ 9/5

today i wanted a rest since i played late on fri but it was apple's bday. and no choice, u die die also must give this charbo face else i think(personally) that she will make your life hell on earth. wahahahaha~

anyway after service, the cg went to bedok to have dinner. i went since it was early although i prefer we could have went to town to eat =X

dinner was fun and man, daniel, i love you! lol~ yeah~ wahaha. he's a hell of a joker and i cant get enough of such good jokes. its been awhile. think i'm really getting old.

after that, went to zouk to meet apple and people. man, i tot still got free entry or wat, sean told me you gotta be here at 7+ to queue and i was like 0_0

in the end sean n i managed to talk them out to go st james since it was much cheaper and we can probably get 4 ppl in for free. it sounded more lucrative to all since it was really much cheaper, apparently, i'm appalled by the fact that you needa open 3-4 bottles to get an immediate table in no reservations. eric say, might as well ask them to go and rob. moreover, it aren't cheap to open at zouk. the price is @#%#@$#@$!@_@$_.

in the end it proved much much better at st james coz apple became a member =X and for member's bday, free entry for 7 guests and additional 1 champagne! cool man~ in the end all of us went in for free. my bro came along later, also free entry lol~ powerhouse was damn crowded but we celebrated apple's bday there and she was so paiseh coz we brought the cake into the club haha!

kangwei was there with his group of friends' friends' friends (complicated) of 30+. ridiculous really. had a short chat before heading back to the gang. apple's ang was quite high later coz she say he's sleeping at one of the couch lol~ they went back 1st anyway. but was fun la. my bro is more siao den me. the time i was away, apparently, he made sean and his friend drink alot. haha~

all this fun was dashed after something came up but good thing majority of our ppl went back. seriously, thk god for protection. :)

(singer at dragonfly)(act cute?)
(cheese~)
(babes?????)
(highness!)

Crazy Fri - 8/5

Seriously, i had a super crazy friday.

1st, i have to work till 630pm coz of Vesak's Day (whatever the real reason is).

2nd, i have cg meeting at 830pm and i'm playing the guitar and have to prepare song sheet.

3rd, cg meeting is at my house

4th, i have to fly down to Hard Rock to meet the gang

5th, i have to fly down after midnight to Dragonfly to meet ron and gang.

this is basically my schedule and i'm really going bonkers... anyway thk god for capacity coz i had to prepare 4 songs to play and 2 of 'em is really hard. good thing i managed to drop one hard song. for the 1st time, i had to put on gloves to play through.... 0_o''

i was preparing the songsheets so i didnt there were so many ppl coming for the meeting. in the end, had to use my printer to photocopy the balance 10+. worse, i had to rush home to prepare additional refreshments. time wasnt on my side as i had to OT till 630.

before that i was thinking if i shd tell vic that i needa leave immediately aft cg coz Jack invited me to Jack Daniel's private party at hard rock. in the end, i had to take a cab down else it will be very late. moreover i needa go and meet ron n gang after midnight asap since they were there since 9pm. the private party at hard rock was fun, simply love retro lol~

later i managed to persuade the gang to follow me powerhouse =X oops~ anyway, think the fun was only half at hard rock lor, i didnt even warm up -_-

think lp was killed by me, i decided to treat the gang to a bottle of martell. lol~ too bad jack had to drive so, he was "let off". clare was so scared since the time she was "killed". so this time lp took her place. good thing jack drove them back den i went to meet ron, ken, eric and met erica n iris there. ron was again high den we open another bottle. lol~ it was a crazy night but i really had so much fun. gotta do this again :p

was really tired. in the end left at i think around 3+. man, its bad to be so late coz i woke up early the next morning, haiz~

(the gang)

Wacky Wed

yest i went shopping with irene, apple and ivy. i guess i'm the thorn amongst the roses.... anyway, irene bought herself a nice gucci wallet after much discouragement from me to get the LV one hehehe~ i think in terms of economic sense rather on impulse. anyway i bought myself 2 shirts and apple got 1 together at G2 Black. it was nice coz we accumulated a good 200plus bucks and signed up as a member. i think the economic meltdown is reverberating through our spines, or rather, the spines of shoppers coz apparently, the number of shoppers are on the down side.


(lunch time yummy yoghurt fiesta with eric! lol~)


surprisingly, LV has no lack of visitors. i'm more taken aback that there wasnt any queue at the shop but the interior was a different story. something just came to my mind abt wat pst Aries said that LV is a "recession-proof" luxury product and yeah, sure it was. i was there to "soak" in the recession-proof atmosphere and i was tempted although i didnt give in. lol~

after a nice meal at the teppanyaki store in the foodcourt, we headed to Alley Bar for some drinks. it was a nice place to chill and the price is affordable! :)

had a good tok with the babes and apple's "Ang" came a short while and they left. the 3 of us sat awhile, chilled and went back... man i was dead beat when i got home, couldnt wait to slip into my bed.... lol~

p.s. i'm loving my omnia day by day coz the pics are reali nice and i neednt lug along a cam or wat. lol~

Matrix

Back from a long day at work. was not really feeling well, think i caught a cold or something. went for a movie, Horsemen, with my brother. tired....

was going through the news today when i came across an article in the forum tat i found it appalling. i think these days, as i tend to be comsumed in my own thoughts, i came to learn more about the intrinsic and extrinsic behaviours of human and its so intriguing.

as i read through, a management theory came into my mind, Macdonaldization by Ritzer. cutting the story short, the irrationalities of rationality in human behaviour is something that we find it interesting yet hard to comprehend. sometimes one will wonder why individuals react in such interesting manners although it can be of antonymic sensitivites. the matter of fact is, we love to traverse into the prohibited. we wonder why; and so many questions and yet how often do we find the answers we want?

like how we were created, it is believed that we'll take a lifetime to understand such irrationalities and human itself. experts show new findings and changes years after years about the human. on a personal note, i only believe that such irrationalities are here to remain and probably in our entire lifetime, we can never fully understand the human matrix. its irony exists for a reason... maybe life is simply a burlesque

Afraid

through the evanescence of time, i think i'm slowly coming to my senses. although my senses are still numbed somehow, it remains hard to fathom the pain that has welled up so strongly within. accepting reality was part of me and yet true reality strikes painfully. how can i continue keeping faith?

i ask myself to move beyond the current into the fourth dimension and yet whilst moving, the thoughts of the past simply anchor themselves at the wrong place, at the wrong time. only thoughts of surrender has been the constant refuge, if possible, i want to seek. i believed that i've moved from a place of crestfallenness to a place of oblivion. why, i start to ask myself with no answers in mind.

a voice calls out to me constantly even though i always pride myself for being forgiving. now only i understand how it feels when love turns to hatred. never have i wondered into this desperate realm and i feel sick just staying here. the voice calls out telling me to move from love, to hatred, to forgiveness and back to love again and yet, all seems so farfetched.

i wonder, will i ever achieve this new state of change. indeed, its from transition where we can experience transformation but having to be put through this without consent, its simply macabre. i seek to expunge this feeling, and to desire after indolence or breakthrough, somehow or rather. as for now, i'm afraid, so afraid...

Labor Day.... :(

i was sick on labor day itself and didnt manage to go to the Men's Meeting in the morning.... abit sad coz such meeting's always good. i think in the end, slept till 5pm before headed out to meet kang for dinner and some drinks since i owe him 1. decided to head to Canivore @ vivo since we're going to Dragonfly after. i was the one that recommended Canivore since i had a craving for it a long long time since hearing its "greatness". it was awesome but the price was really @#$#%@%@%@($%$)%$#I%#$)@_:?.... :( anyway i enjoyed myself although the price put me off... lol~

(appetizer)

(pumpkin soup)

after dinner, we went walking around since it was still early and was reeling from the fullness of dinner.... simply love it since it was a meaty meal. those who are veg-lovers, pls don't waste your time... and women, pls, don't think about it unless you're a huge eater and have a comfortable wallet! haha~ anyway went for a drink or 2 and headed home to rest... stanley asked me to give him a lift at Novena.... i was like -_-"

=X

Pre Labor Special..... :D

The gang decided to head down to powerhouse after class since it was holiday the next day. we had a new addition, DAVID!!!!! lol~ anyway it was fun having david with us together with the usuals, Kevin, Jack, Clare and myself. i met ron at Dragonfly with his friend which i cant remember the name.... (paiseh, am really bad at names... lol!) later ken also came with his friend. =X

anyway, it was david's first time out with us, i had somthing else on my mind... lol~ i wanted to "finish" him. wahahaha~ too bad he didnt managed to coz that stupid clare keep helping him pour more mixer into his share of drinks!!! grrrr~ wasted.... anyway, kev didnt went "crazy" this time coz he was driving.... wasted~ we had 2 bottles of vodka since it was one for one... man.... vodka taste like medicine i had to say.... wat to do, we're all poor students.... value!! VALUE!! =X



Jack was having fun and later he and david disappear to don't know where and happy, later jack was dancing alone with the wall! the craziness spreads!... hahah~



wahahah~ =X