Breaking Through

woah~ so long never blog liao~ guilty sia~ i wonder for a moment where my faithfulness went :X maybe i got no more supporters liao boohoo~ :( so many things changed and right now, its 22days away from my Uni convocation... time really flies and now even though after graduation n moving on a new phase, its simple incredible and unimaginable... im excited because, honestly, we all know, people move on to achieve their own success stories of their life, probably, it will be final time we can gather in such a time as this. i used to think what success mean and often, i hear a few of my friends asking me to define what success will mean. today, success often is being defined as having a high-flying job, well-remunerated job, a happy family, have big cars and big houses and so on. we really have our own definition of success and this will give us the motivation to move towards that direction we see ourselves going. for me, since a few years ago, i stongly believe for myself, success meant replicating myself and impacting the lives of others. often or even if you are reading, many will think alike that it sounds nonsensical or even rubbishly too full of myself. i don't know how or where to start but i always believe that success is making people feel success. seeing others able to achieve great heights, somewhat seems more fulfilling than me really being in that position of theirs. i used to think that if one day i become a high-flyer earning tons of money, i will be really happy. and yet, i find that thats not what i really want. no doubt that im confident of making a mark in life but yet, if given a choice, i think i rather be a mentor and help to others to guide them to their dreams. seeing people lives change has always make me happier than life itself. i don't believe that i will be happier if i led a selfish, self-centered life whereby i only live for me and myself and only I. even if people think that im foolish but who are they to judge? thus, taking a huge leap to take up a entirely bold step of faith into SOT was something i look forward to. everyday, maybe its a drag to wake up at 6am, but everyday, i have brand new insights, encounters, knowledge/information, revelations. my character and core values are constantly being challenged. my flaws are being brought out and tested. to my amazement, i only realize how weak i am, how incapable i am and how foolish i am and can be. and yet, through it all, i know i can lean on God's strength. taking a step at a time helps me to focus on strengthening my strengths and reducing my errs which i commonly fall in. and even so, it has been so trying at times to crucify my weakness and my carnal mind/flesh. during the beginning, i felt very strong in my spirit that this 2011 will be a time of breakthrough and a big one although im not sure of what it is and yet, moving on next week, a confirmation thru a prophesy and word of wisdom helped to reconfirm that feeling that was put into me. "Change, Wait, what you've been waiting for will be restored." these words really resurrected me and gave me life. i remembered few months ago, i gave away my vision and yet these words touched me deeply and im just simply withe gratitude to god... sometimes we think that we did foolish things that maybe god wont forgive us but yet, so often, god is simply waiting for us to return back to Him, just like the story of the prodigal son. i just love the story and how god exemplifies His grace and love for us even though we are rebellious and selfish. thinking it through, i only know that ive made the right decision and to sacifice and devote this 6mths even if many thinks im foolish. ultimately, im in it and not them, thus they probably will never know what it feels like. one word: Amazing.