passion

mon!!! finally, the drag is over >,< tiring... today, i was sitting in office calling den at abt 4+ before my meeting, i was just browsing through some video, as i browse through them, suddenly, it ignited a passion when i was abt 18...

i dunno why but whenever i see dance movies, videos, street dance or performance, there's just something in me that's being stirred... i still remember one of my bestie who was together with me when i was in choir (donkey years ago), went to join the church dance ministry and after he got in, i asked him about the audition and stuff. after he related to me how the audition went, i felt really intimidated... i always wondered if i had the groove, the vibes and the ability to pursue this thing called, Dance. after when i went NS, i was influenced by my mates to go clubbing and honestly speaking, i enjoyed it. the booze really helped me to realise my energy on the dancefloor though i strongly felt i was simply making a fool out of myself.

jus last year, someone close chanced upon me dancing despite me seldom stroding my clumsy moves and started questioning if i frequent clubs and if i often dance with girls :x i was confident whenever i had a glass or two but never really felt confident of myself showing to others unless they were really close to me and even so, i still had much reserves. this thought din linger much till last year end and most recently, for my company event. i shan't say much about it lest people think i boast >,< but they really gave me much encouragement in believing i had the flair for dancing. tho i dunno why or how, but it really felt good and i really feel like dancing and be trained to do so to better be equipped... i begin to think how can i improve the team's dance and how i wanna make things more creative and attractive. today, i just do not know why, but i went to the church website to see if there were still dance ministry despite us moving this ministry into a more professional platform, O school; taught by real professionals. it really excite me and i spoke to my colleague who encouraged me to do so as im not young anymore and that term alone kinda incited my "wrath" haha, to give it in a more serious thought.

thinking now, many people express their frustrations, feelings, emotions and heart through many avenues and dance is truly one of them. sometimes as i begin to pick up my guitar and sing, there can be a point that you feel that you stagnate and cant push higher. yet when i begin to dance, even on a small platform, it really feels good. it feels that those emotions that you cant show it through words being expressed out in actions and yet, gracefully... something where u mix ballet with hip-hop, a tinge of grace with a groove to it...

im still thinking of it and i remember a beautiful person wanting to pursue ballet again although it may seem difficult but still, if possible, and proper time managment, i really think its possible! ballet, beautiful, graceful, even the ugly duckling will evolve into a beautiful white swan... where boundaries are meant to be broken because you are the main character if you feel you are it. our agendas and pursuits in life thats shaped by the mediocracy of this world. i think ultimately, we all have just one life to live, make it count, worthwhile and lets not have any regrets :) peace.

tomorrow will be better, gambatte :Pp