A man's story

What if one day, you realized your parents are not your real parents?
what if one day, you realized that the siblings that you lived with are just mere cousins?
what if one day you realized that your life's a joke to begin with and your last memories are not found?

"i was on my way to school as usual today. it was yet another beautiful day with the sun smiling at me as i prepared to go to school. school was something new to me as i have quit school 2 years ago. i wanted a new start in my life and therefore, took up the courage to return to school together with Ben.

it wasnt easy adapting to school life since ben and i was two years senior to our fellow mates. it felt weird in the first place but thank god they were accomodating. it was great to start life afresh. having a certificate was important especially in this realist world of ours. papers do the talking most of the time.

6months or so has passed and i have been busy preparing my o level exams. one day, i was visiting my cousins (apparently), i come to realize why these 2 cousins of mine had so much similarities in their outward appearance to me. i wasn't much bothered but it did left an impression on me somehow or rather. i left for home.

as i was the eldest in the the family; where my 2 "siblings" was much younger than me, i often found time to be on my own. today, this thought about my cousins kept revolving in my mind and it simply felt nostalgic. i couldnt brush away these flashes of their faces off my mind and it kept me thinking. how often do one find their cousins resembling themselves much more than their own siblings? it all seems so ironic.

as the days go by, i couldnt help but kept on having such thoughts running through my mind. even in school, i couldnt help but wanting to spend time on my own. ben wasnt least bothered because most of the time, he's busy dozing off in class. this feeling within me yearns to erupt and seeks answers to its questions and i do not know if i could hold them down any further.

as i began to contemplate if i should tok to "mum or dad", my mind was going berserk. everyday, it seems to be some sort of nightmare or battle that's going through the confined space of my head. the evanesence of time has not been able to rid my mind of the doubts i have and yet as the days go by, it seems that the reminiscene of my cousins' faces kept appearing in my head. doubts and questions are all i had and all these began to take a toll on my studies and personal life. Soon, i knew i should follow my heart. i broke all that i wanted to know and doubts to "mum and dad".

i guess it was a tough call on them. to begin with, they looked shocked but i wouldn't call it entirely shocked since i believed they saw it coming one day. rather, it was an awkward situation that the three of us were in this very moment. soon, they began to unravel such unnerving stories where i simply wanted to close my ears and eyes and scream at the top of my voice. these "answers" that i seek; what are they? is this all a joke?

as the conversation came to a close, the lifeless me began to stagger back to my room, falling face down on my bed. my mind was in a blank. to me, my life, 18years of it, was this all a game? is the heavens toying my life? tears began to roll down my cheeks as i closed my eyes because i know, i can't handle the truth.

'you're not our son... you're actually given to us when you were very young. your parents couldnt afford to take care of you because they're too poor. that two cousins you saw that day are your real siblings, flesh and blood. these "siblings" of yours now are your cousins. its ok if you continue to stay here because to us, you're like a son...'

i lived my life as if all's fine. as usual having fun with my friends. yet the difference was i was trying to have fun rather than having fun. i do not know who am i anymore. who am i? what am i? where am i going? i do not know how an eighteen year old school boy like me should react. truths set us free but harsh truths knock so hard that it either becomes our tombstone or stepping stone and in this entire situation, mine was the former.

my world started to collapse in the next few months. i began to lose myself. i knew it was only right to acknowledge my true parents even though i was grateful to my foster parents for bringing me up and all the support they showed me throughout this period. it was a tough call indeed but BLOOD IS THICKER THAN WATER. These 5 words help me with the decision to make.

reunited with my family, poverty was the only word that i could grasped. my parents had heaps of debts and to make matters worse, we were living in a rented flat. my elder brother was serving national service and my younger brother was schooling. i decided to quit school to help make ends meet. it was a tough call but i had no choice. schooling was considered a luxury because my parents couldnt afford it. soon after, my younger brother also quit school to help make ends meet.

cutting the long story short, after completing national service, i was consumed into working several jobs to help my parents make ends meet and start my own savings for my future. life's been hard but better after my other two siblings completed their national service. if you ask me whether i would choose between acknowledging my real parents or continue to hide and live a life of lies, i will still choose to acknowledge the truth."


epilogue:
today, Wayne is married to a beautiful wife where they both just had a cute baby girl. he's living in his own flat with his mother-in-law here in singapore. it brings tremendous joy to see him breaking out of poverty and creating a future out of his situation. i'm always encouraged when i remember his life story because i come to realize that none of my problems can be as huge as his. we're indeed created to be champions and conquerors.


*this a a true life-based story. names have been changed to protect identities. any similarities and resemblances are purely coincidences.*